People are always shouting claims all over the place..
“7 days to the body you deserve!”
“Make this ONE change and you’ll finally be happy!”
“10X your profits with my 10 step plan!”
Except I wasn’t being shouted at… I was scrolling my inbox.
Delete. Delete. Delete.
If we’re being honest with each other, most of the time these claims don’t even register with us anymore. Everyone is doing it. Everyone has a magic bullet, the one thing you need rightthisverysecond or else your whole *fill in the blank with something urgent* will fall apart.
I gotta tell ya.
I’m pretty over it. #sorrynotsorry
And look, I’m guilty of using claims like this to market my biz in the past. If you haven’t done it yourself, then either you don’t have a biz or you’re having a temporary memory fail because everyone and their goldfish has tried it at least one time.
Those kind of tactics are ending, though. I just want something real, you know what I’m saying?
I would love - for once -, someone to show up in my inbox or on my newsfeed and calmly say to me - “Hey. I see you. I’ve been where you are. Here’s what I did. Maybe it will help?” instead of pretending their solution is a one size fits all and that if I don’t ACT NOW my life will be over.
We all know the one size fits all approach never really works, unless you’re selling scarves (and it’s cool if you are!).
I’ve gotta be me and what I’m thinking is a need to drop the veil and be real with you.
Listen, “authenticity” and “genuine connection” are becoming a little bit like buzzwords lately because the tide is turning and we’re all sick of being marketed to. And even though they are buzzwords, it doesn’t change their truth..
We are sick of being marketed to. We do want rawness and reality.
We just wanna know what works without feeling like everyone involved is playing a make-money-fast game.
In the name of sparking change by being a leader in the pack, I want to say to you: I see you. I’ve been where you are.
And I want to share with you something I’ve done that was a game-changer for me. Maybe it will be the same for you?
It’s something that seems very simple on the outside, and when you dig into it, you realize… daaaaaaang, this is work.
It’s worth it, though. Most things are that require you to dig in deep.
And when you dig in, you can move mountains.
Get the results you want (in any given situation) by noticing how your thoughts and emotions influence your actions.
I am not going to pretend like it will unlock your ability to manifest lottery winnings but I am not exaggerating when I say it does have the power to shift the trajectory of your life.
Not being outrageously claim-ish here, #crossmyheart.
This isn’t a secret solution I’m going to ask you to buy.
It isn’t something I’m going to hide behind a paywall.
There aren’t any hoops you have to jump through.
I’m gonna hand it to you in this post, RN.
Here’s the nitty gritty, raw & real vegan meat of it. It’s an acronym so it’s easy to remember and when you internalize what each part of the acronym means, you can begin applying it in your daily life.
Here is the acronym: CTFAR.
Looks like nonsense, but let’s break it down:
C - Circumstance
For the sake of this post, let’s get super #meta and pretend the circumstance is that you read a blog post claiming to change your life if you began using a simple mindset management method.
Circumstances often happen to us without our say, but in this case you willingly clicked on something that brought you here.
To be honest, though, the circumstance is not important (you’ll soon see why). A circumstance, at its most basic level, is a fact of your life in a given moment.
T - Thought
When you find yourself in a circumstance, whatever it may be, you have thoughts about it.
You’re in circumstances - big and small - all friggin’ day, so you have thoughts about them all friggin’ day.
Some thoughts are inconsequential (“My fav coffee shop is doing a BOGO this Tuesday.”), and other thoughts need a little more attention (“I can never get anything done.”).
Getting back to our example..
You read the blog post (circumstance).
The blog post was claiming to change your life if you began using a simple mindset management (your thought about the “claims”).
You may also have additional thoughts about the blog posts’ “claims” like:
“Well that sounds like a load of cheez whiz.”
*Time Out* Pay attention to the fact that this is an isolated thought, with no emotion around it. It is not a feeling about your circumstance. It’s simply a thought.
Feelings come next.
F - Feeling
This process happens without you even realizing it, but once you have a thought about a circumstance, it’s going to spark a feeling inside of you.
The feeling, or emotion, is directed by the thought. Not the other way around.
If you don’t believe me, try this quick exercise:
Think about a circumstance in your life (maybe something job related).
Now think about the emotion you have around it (maybe overwhelmed).
Now, think about the thoughts you were having about that circumstance before I asked you the emotion it sparked (probably about whatever it is that makes you feel overwhelmed in your job).
Feelings and emotions happen because of the way our brain is interpreting information.
If your thought about reading a post that claimed to have something in it to improve your life was “Well that sounds like a load of cheese whiz.” your feeling about it could be “confusion” or “annoyance”.
You still with me?
A - Action
Once your mind starts working (or thinking) and you start feeling something or anything, you’ll take an action (or not) of some sort.
For example, If you didn’t believe the claim of the post, you’d stop reading and you most likely would not purchase the mindset kit being offered..
Actions lead to results, and that’s the last piece here.
R - Result
If you doubted the post (remember, your doubt is your own thought), then you most likely didn’t take any action to finish reading or purchasing whatever is offered and the result is …..
Well there really is no result.
Nothing is different than it was before.
You find yourself in a circumstance.
You have a thought regarding that circumstance.
The thought brings up an emotion in you.
That emotion + thought inspires you to take some kind of action (or no action).
The action you choose brings about a specific result.
It’s incredibly simple at the outset, but what powers it are internal workings of your mind that many times you are unaware of.
Meaning … most of our “thinking” is below the layer of our conscious mind! It’s SUB-conscious. We aren’t even aware that we are thinking what we are thinking.
But the bad news is we react based on our subconscious thinking.
Kind of like a robot.
And because you aren’t tuning into your subconscious mind, or are even aware of the way you are feeling, your most likely robbing yourself of a result you actually want (or don’t want, depending on the circumstance).
Let’s state this in another way:
In order to get a specific result that you want, you must first learn to manage your mind.
Do you see the connection between thoughts + feelings and actions + results?
I hope at this point you’re thinking that this is something you could try, and you’re hopeful.
I 100% believe anyone can implement this system. I also believe wholeheartedly that when you are actively working it, it means you can solve any problem that comes your way.
I’m making this claim because I’m living proof of it.
My life went from unmanageable chaos to balance in the midst of “normality” the moment I began managing my mindset with this simple system.
And that’s the truth of it, no matter which way you slice it.
What would your life look like if you began approaching even the simplest of situations like this?
If you're thinking you'd like to find out, then you're in luck!
Because I’m teaching a brand new, free virtual masterclass next week where I walk you through exactly that! It’s called:
How to Solve Any Problem In 5 Easy Steps
I'm going to teach you how to solve any problem in 5 simple steps so you aren't constantly being derailed by your life.
Here’s what you’ll learn in this free, virtual Masterclass:
Why 99% of your problems are in your own head and how you can tap into your subconscious brain to stop those triggering thoughts.
How to tell the difference between reality and the stories you have been telling yourself so you're able to protect yourself from fear or overwhelm.
The super simple yet completely necessary ways you can change your emotion on the spot to get a different result than the one you’ve been getting.
A clear, actionable roadmap even when you’re up against one of your “problems”, Every Single Time.