I've been married twice. The first time I got married I thought I was with the man of my dreams, but as time passed we drifted apart. It happens all the time in relationships. In the beginning, when it's the honeymoon phase and everything is amazing and wonderful, you can't imagine it ever being anything that amazing and wonderful. So, it is beyond strange when the honeymoon phase wears off, the intimacy dwindles and you're not staying up till the wee hours of the morning anymore. You're not taking the time to really enjoy each other. We went from having such a sense of wonder, curiosity and intrigue in one another to just co-existing like two strangers who never took the time to be fascinated by one another. How could we go from wanting to be together and not being able to get enough of each other to practically having nothing to say, no more interest in each other, no passion?! Where did the two people who had longed for one another so badly they got married go? It's a weird feeling. I'm sure you've been there. You're SO into someone and then BAM! Something massive shifts, but it happens so gradually you don't see it coming.The beginning was so strong, it is so hard to let go of the hope that it will go back to the way it was. Admitting your with the wrong person is so hard. Sometimes the right person is right at the time but then things change. I changed, he changed, and we didn't grow together. We grew apart, or maybe I grew away from him. So, how do you when the person you're with is not the one for you?
1). YOU CAN IMAGINE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THEM When you love someone and you are committed to that person, it is normal to experience relationship ruts, even question your relationship, but when you can imagine your life or fantasize about a life away from the person you are with, it is likely that you are checking out.
2). YOU DON'T WANT TO EMOTIONALLY INVEST IN YOUR PARTNER You will not always be on a high when it comes to emotionally investing into your partner, but if you find yourself not wanting to give, not wanting to connect emotionally, you need to really examine what that disconnect is about. Are you resentful about past pain or something that is unresolved or are you puling away and losing interest? If you don't want to emotionally invest in the person you are with, again, you are checking out.
3). YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT BEING WITH OTHER PEOPLE MORE THAN YOUR PARTNER When you are with the right person you fantasize about them. That is not to say you are not going to be attracted to other people, but when it boils down to it, if you don't fantasize about your partner or think about them fulfilling you, if instead you find yourself thinking about others, there is trouble brewing. Somewhere you are not getting your needs met if you are going outside of the relationship, even in your head.
4). YOUR VALUES DO NOT ALIGN You can be really attracted to someone and even madly in love with them, but if your values do not align, this can be a HUGE problem. Values are the staple of longevity when it comes to relationship compatibility. If you value something your partner does not or they value things that you don't, it's really hard to have a harmonious and aligned relationship. You might really like someone in the sack who ultimately doesn't not have what you need day to day. Values are big.
5). YOU DON'T HAVE SEX When you are with the right person you want them and they want you. Sex doesn't have to be everything, but it is really really important in a romantic relationship. If your partner is not getting their physical or emotional needs met through you, they are probably drifting away from you. Sex is such a beautiful component of connection and it should be a high value in a healthy relationship. If you are not having sex and connecting intimately you are not with the right person. I have just given you 5 signs you are with the wrong person. Do you think you might be with the wrong person? I would love to hear from you. Please leave your comments in the box below. If you found this post informative, please share it with friends. Post it on FB, Pinterest or Tweet it. XO, Hayley