Hey, my friends! I’m Hayley Hobson and I’m so glad you’re here! Welcome to the 10/10 Podcast where I help ambitious women like you, look + feel younger, so you can achieve a 10/10 lifestyle (and unlock financial freedom).
You wanna hear something fascinating?
We make about 35,000 conscious choices each day.
From little things like what we eat or what we wear…
To big things, like taking a job.
Or hiring someone in our own biz.
Or buying a house.
Or saying yes to getting married.
And each choice carries a consequence – AKA: an outcome.
And leads to soooooo many different experiences in our lives.
And the fact is…
Sometimes we make choices that lead to breakdowns.
When this happens, we have two new choices.
To stay in breakdown mode…
Or use the breakdown as an opportunity to create a breakthrough.
In other words, acknowledge the breakdown…
Clear it by taking it in, looking for the lesson, and choosing something different for the next time.
It’s always hard to see where the breakdown or breakthrough is going to happen.
And even more challenging to breakthrough on your own.
Trust me, I know this from personal experience.
I didn’t start seeing massive results in my life until I chose to invest in my own personal development.
First as a student…
(Always a student)
And then as a coach… where I’m still always a student, being coached.
One of the key factors in your own personal development is being open to receive feedback from others.
Being able to receive another person’s experience of how you are showing up.
Without getting triggered.
Because it’s just their experience.
It’s neutral.
AND it’s feedback.
And then you can decide if you want to shift.
So… going through this process myself has shone a light on how I was showing up… how others experienced me.
And I never would have seen it without someone literally holding up the mirror to me – and being honest about their experience with me.
Which an experienced coach can do with compassion and love.
Because it’s their job to tell you the things you may not want to hear SO THAT you can become the person you want to be.
A person who gets results.
And when that happens, we all have a choice.
We can choose to listen, acknowledge our way of being, and hold ourselves accountable…
Or we can choose to point the finger somewhere else.
And choose not to be in responsibility.
Which one do you think will lead to a better result?
Because the thing is, we generate everything in our life with our choices.
Including breakdowns, which are also neutral.
And which then support you in your decision (or not) to clear what didn’t work.
And to show up differently so you get a different result.
Breakdowns don’t need to be massive to lead to massive breakthroughs.
I’ll give you an example here in a second…
But before I do, I wanna let you know that I’m so passionate about this whole concept – about helping YOU get the same kind of results that I’ve been getting with what I call “transformational leadership coaching”…
That I’m actually opening up my inner circle – my weekly group coaching group – so you can experience it for yourself…
In a one-hour, deep dive, and ultra-transformational coaching call.
On the house.
So, if you’re not getting the results you want in your life…
If you don’t have the relationships you want with your spouse or partner…
Or kids. Or mom. Or friends..
If you don’t have the biz or number in your bank account that you want…
If your physical or emotional health (or even energy) isn’t where you want…
If you feel like you’re stuck – not breaking through –
On autopilot… or in the same Groundhog’s Day pattern over and over again…
And you want some sort of catalyst to break free from that…
This is your no-brainer opportunity.
‘Cause I’m literally taking away all the risk.
And letting you experience it first.
Before you commit.
For one hour.
I’ll send you all the details to get into my circle (and what I call the hot seat) right away.
Now here’s the thing…
If you’re on the fence…. and you don’t want to shift… that’s cool.
No worries.
Just don’t sign up.
Honestly, I’d rather you say “No thanks” than say yes and then not show up.
But I would bet my life on the fact that you still have not had the breakdown that leads to your breakthrough yet.
That’s how strongly I feel about the work.
And like I said, it doesn’t have to be a big breakdown that leads to an “ah-ha” moment breakthrough.
I’ll give you an example.
A few weeks ago, my husband Wes, and I were at a 6 am workout class.
And during the middle of class, Wes started to have an issue with his heart.
So we left the class and went to the ER.
I was worried about him and his health.
Obviously.
So I was kinda in a panic.
And while this was all happening…
I‘d also given my word to be in the training room.
I was coaching a brand new group of students.
Actually, I was the co captain of the team.
While we were in the ER, I kept in touch with everyone in an operational or administrative role for the training.
And I also knew if it ended up being something serious with Wes. And I couldn’t get back in time, they would be able to figure something out.
But I wanted to keep my word and still be part of it – depending on what was happening with Wes.
To make the long story short, I was able to be on time to the training.
Wes was in the clear.
He was going to need surgery. But in that moment - he was going to be fine.
So I went back to the training room.
Even though I was still in a little bit of a panic mode - I still showed up.
But here’s the thing - I hadn’t taken care of myself (i.e. washed my face, eaten or changed my clothes) in over 12 hours.
So all I wanted was to step away for a couple of minutes to get myself together.
But I wasn't able to at that moment because the room was in action.
And the students were now the priority.
I mean, I was no longer in a life threatening situation.
Wes was fine.
I was fine.
Everything was going to work out.
But nonetheless, I began to get triggered.
And something came up for me…
“Nobody cares about me. I’m always taking care of other people, but no one takes care of ME.”
So I started to break down.
I made it about me.
I became the victim.
I made it about me needing to RECEIVE.
When what I had committed to do was GIVE.
And later, I received a little coaching on how I showed up.
What I love about transformational coaching is that it’s REAL.
It’s honest.
It’s not fluffy, hair petting stuff.
My co-captain gave me some coaching around my breakdown.
And it led to a breakthrough for me.
I realized the emotion coming up for me at that moment had nothing to do with Wes.
Nothing to do with his health.
I had already processed that by the time we left the ER.
It was just me being selfish.
I had given my word to be there at this training – but I wasn’t showing up for it at 100%.
What was more important to me was taking a shower.
Getting a coffee.
Eating.
Yes, all of THAT was more important to me.
But when I actually stopped and thought about it, it was like: Why did I need to take a shower right then?
Why couldn’t I have waited an hour?
Why couldn’t I have gone to the bathroom later?
Why couldn't I have eaten later?
I realized this was a big breakthrough moment for me.
I don’t always need to put my needs first.
I realized that I still get triggered – even I still have those old victim thoughts inside me.
And in that moment, I realized I don’t always have to be so bougie.
I don’t always have to be so comfortable.
It’s okay to be uncomfortable at times.
It’s okay to do something outside of the norm.
So, that’s what I mean by saying you don’t need to have a massive breakDOWN in order to have a massive breakTHROUGH.
A massive breakdown could look more like my major health crisis over a decade ago that led to me completely changing my lifestyle and career.
But that’s not always the case.
As I said, every decision has a consequence or outcome to it…
And when you have breakdowns from those choices, you get to look for the lesson…
And choose whether or not to turn it into a breakthrough.
Now, I could have ignored my co-captain.
I could have chosen to lean into victimhood – but what good would that have done me?
My goal is to elevate – to be at a 10/10 in all areas of my life…
And that means the work gets to happen all.the.freaking.time.
I’m not perfect – far from it.
But I AM 100% committed to being present and working on myself – and my 10/10 life – every day.
Which means I get to be open to how others experience me.
I get to take their feedback in… be accountable to it… and make new choices.
The only way any of us are gonna get to the next level is to recognize and own our breakdowns.
And then investigate what happened and what triggered us.
There’s always a hidden message in a breakdown.
Just like I discovered mine in that story I shared.
And then you DECIDE to break through – instead of staying in or falling back into the same unconscious patterns of behaving that led to the breakdown.
And then finally, you step into your new way of BEing.
You have a choice every single moment of every single day.
There’s a saying that goes…
The level of the solution is never at the same level of the problem.
So that’s why I’m reminding you that if you aren’t making progress on what YOU want out of life…
Whether that’s a better relationship with your daughter…
A more connected and vulnerable relationship in your marriage…
Feeling more comfy and secure with the numbers in your bank account…
Or having a career that fulfills you, makes you happy, lights you up, and makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning…
Then you get to choose differently.
And, as I shared, it can be really hard to do on your own.
Especially if people aren’t willing to be radically honest with you.
Which most people aren’t.
‘Cause it’s not polite.
It’s not nice, as my mom would say.
But this false harmony is also not helpful.
Now I’m not saying I’m gonna be mean to you inside the coaching circle…
Certainly not – that’s not the deal.
The deal is… you have a place where you can get real with what’s going on in your life and biz.
And you get someone who is willing to hold that mirror up to you and share their experience of you.
As well as help coach you through the level of problem to get to the level of the solution.
I can’t do the pushups for you.
Meaning, I can’t go out there and make the changes you wanna make.
But I can help you see what they are.
I can create the space for you to make those changes – and support you any way I can.
I can give you feedback, pats on the back, and accountability as you make those changes.
That I can do.
And that I WILL do…
When you choose to take me up on my offer of a free session of coaching.
On the house.
AKA: all it costs you is your time.
And your energy, obviously.
I got a breakthrough in that 10-minute conversation with my co-captain.
Imagine what YOU can get in a full hour of being inside my circle.
I’ll help you get real RESU LTS in your life and biz.
By helping you overcome the personal challenges that keep you in breakdown instead of breaking through.
You get to be there.
And I really hope this breakdown vs breakthrough convo was helpful!
That’s it from me today, friends.
I’ll see ya online.