The 21/90 Rule for Creating Habits That Actually Stick

Hey, my friends! I’m Hayley Hobson and I’m so glad you’re here! Welcome to the Whole You Podcast where I'm paving the way in the holistic wellness and anti-aging/longevity space for ambitious women, like you, to achieve a 10 out of 10 lifestyle + unlock financial freedom.

You’ve probably heard that whole thing about how it takes 21 days to create a habit, right?
Whether that habit is to eat better… or stop being so negative… or work out daily… or save money – and stop wasting money on silly things.

Like $19 avo toast.

Clearly that’s not one of MY goals… my avo toasts are next level and totally worth, well, 14 bucks. Maybe not $19. 

Anyway, that whole 21 days to create a habit thing is totally legit.

But it’s also only ONE THIRD of the equation.

And yes, I get it… sometimes just getting through those 21 days is like UGH – already an uphill battle.

And you might be listening to me say it’s only a third of the REAL solution…

And going, “Nope, I’m out.”

But before you do that… I want you to know those first 21 days are actually the hardest part!

Once you complete that… you’ve actually done MOST of the heavy lifting.

The next two secret ingredients are really about locking that new habit into place for the long-term.

As in putting them on autopilot. So, you not only keep that amazing momentum going… but you stop thinking about it. It just happens.

That’s what I’ve been telling everyone in my 30-day Power to Be Challenge.

We’re in the home stretch… we just passed the 21-day mark.

So first of all, if you’re in the Challenge, I wanna celebrate you here publicly – WOOHOO! 

You rock! You’re on your way to creating YOUR version of a happy healthy lifestyle.

I mean, if you want the honest truth about why I created this challenge – and why I’m OBSESSED about sharing wellness hacks…

It’s because there was a time in my life where I wasn’t healthy – in my body… in my mind… in my heart.

I felt like shit every day. I was stressed out of my mind. I battled anxiety and depression.

And I didn’t have any TOOLS to help me.

I truly believed “This is it. This is all there is.”

And it SUCKED.

Feeling trapped like that. Feeling like I’m going to pass this on to my daughter.

And OMG THAT thought nearly killed me.

And it wasn’t until I started changing my habits…
  • Shifting my eating patterns…
  • Getting to know my own body...
  • Bringing MOVEMENT back into my routine…
  • And sharing how I was feeling with others – while making small, incremental shifts every single day that led to HABITS….
…that I got out of that hole.

And I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Although honestly, most days it FELT like I was alone in it.

Maybe you feel that way right now. Or have in the past.

I GET it… and that’s why I’m absolutely passionate about sharing the message that you are NOT alone.

There ARE tools out there.

And I’ll literally HAND them to you.

But it’s up to YOU to choose to say yes and follow through.

And I gotta be real with ya… I’m STILL going through this. I’m still learning. 

So anytime I discover something new that’s amazing and totally working for me…

I feel absolutely COMPELLED to tell you about it.

Like, the latest thing you’ve heard me talking about – MetaPWR.

If you’re in the 30-day Power to Be Challenge… 

And you decided to amplify your results by getting the MetaPWR supplementation system, I know you’re really starting to feel it too.

  • More energy.
  • More clarity.
  • More confidence that you CAN make changes – even small ones – that lead to BIG results.
And BTW if you haven’t heard me talk about MetaPWR before – or you wanna refresher on it – you can take a look at the special page I’ve put together for you at

Or just drop me the word REVERSE on any of my social posts.

OMG and I have to tell you THIS…

My friend Cathy sent me a text just the other day with photos, showing me how the lines on her forehead are softening. In fact, almost gone now. 

She has ZERO bloat – which used to be an issue for her.

And she noticed her face is slimming down.

After just a few weeks of using the system consistently.

I’m not even kidding!

Anyway… point being – A LOT can happen in just the first 21 days. No matter what your new habit is.

And that’s exciting!

But then it kinda becomes… so now what? I did it! But now what?

Well, step 2 is…

To keep doing it daily until you hit the 90-day mark.

I know, I know…

You’re like – “Umm, EXCUSE ME Hayley… you just said 21 days. Why are you now changing that to be 90??”

Well, my friend… I promise there’s no bait and switch here. Nothing sus going on.

It’s because of the 21/90 rule.

Which says that you create a habit in 21 days… 

And THEN you commit for 90 days to make it a lifestyle

Here’s why…

We all have toddler brains. LOL

By that I mean, if you try to teach a toddler to do something for him or herself, they’re not gonna self-regulate. 

They’re not gonna go, “Ok cool, mom wants me to brush my teeth every night. 

Bingo bango, imma do it.”

Yeahhhhh, no.

Even as adults we don’t do this. LOL

Change is hard.

Our brains want to default to autopilot. AKA: what’s easy.

In the first 21 days, you’re introducing the new habit.

But it hasn’t become muscle memory yet.

After 90 days of consistency, that muscle memory kicks in – the autopilot light turns on and it’s the new default setting.

So, your brain stops thinking about it – and just does it.

Think about that toddler teeth brushing analogy again.

When you first start training, it’s a pain in the ass.

Day 1, she’s probably excited. She’s got a fun toothbrush, some tasty toothpaste. It’s a game! It’s new! Yaaaay!

And then after a few days, it’s not fun anymore. It feels like a chore. She’d rather play. 

Or she doesn’t wanna go to bed, let alone spend time brushing her teeth first.

There’s kicking and screaming and tantrums.

But nevertheless, you persist.

Now let’s say Day 21 rolls around and your kid has gotten the memo that part of her bedtime routine is teeth brushing.

She gets it – but it’s still new.

It’s gonna take around 3 months before it cements in and becomes autopilot.

It’s the same for us adults.

When it comes to new habits, our brains are like toddlers.

It takes 21 days to turn a new action into a habit. And 90 days to become a lifestyle – for that muscle memory to kick in.

That’s why it’s step 2 of the process of creating a habit that sticks.

Step 3 is accountability.

It can be SUUUUUPPPPEEERRRR hard to be accountable to yourself.

Especially in those first 90 days.

Bringing someone else in to help you get through that – and maybe even stick around afterwards! – is the key to success.

I mean, how often have you promised yourself you’d make a change… and then slide back into old patterns?

But it’s totally different when you partner up.

Like, if you committed to your bestie you’re doing something together, would you bail out on her?

Probably not.

But if you’re going it alone? You’re way more likely to ditch out.

Self-discipline is hard.

Which is why I am totally in Camp Buddy System.

Plus, it’s more fun.

And it’s exactly why I made the Power to Be Challenge be a GROUP activity.

Sure, I could have made this a DIY Challenge – where I give you the daily plan and let you do it on your own.

But I know it doesn’t work. From personal experience. LOL

Plus… it’s kinda isolating. Not to mention boring.

Doing it in a group creates this incredible energy that’s highly motivating.

And when you SEE the transformations in yourself AND others – it’s sooo rewarding.

PS – want a pro-tip on how to find a GOOD accountability partner?
Choose someone who’s gonna call you on your shit.

Not in a mean way, really.

I mean someone who isn’t gonna let you slide when you try to bail.

‘Cause you will. That pull to slide back into default territory is super strong.

Remember our toddler teeth brushing analogy?

In a weird way, you’ve been her accountability partner the whole time. LOL

And yes, I know you don’t think about it in those terms. But that’s essentially what you’re doing.Reminding her of the new routine… monitoring results… and cheering her on for completing the new habit.

As adults, most of us benefit from that same process.

So choose wisely.

If your bestie is way too accommodating or willing to let you dip out on your commitments…

As much as you love her, don’t choose you to be your accountability buddy.

Get someone who’s gonna remind you, “Hey, you said you were gonna do this. Did you? Show me.”

I know, sounds terrifying, right? But it totally works.

The thing is, when there are expectations and a clear commitment, you’re way more likely to show up and follow through.

BTW, this is also why I don’t recommend having your romantic partner be your accountability buddy.

Unless you already have that kind of relationship with each other, most of us do not take kindly to our partner trying to have that kind of authority. 

Or maybe that’s just me and my girlfriends. LOL

What you really need is a Mr. Miyagi to your Karate Kid.

A Ted Lasso to your Roy Kent.

God, I miss that show. When is season 3 coming out???

I know Jason Sudeikis has had some drama recently, but really – give the people what they want, man! We’re waaaaaiiitttinnnggggg. LOL

Anyway, the point is… when you have a coach like that… an accountability partner with permission to be tough on you… RESULTS happen.

That’s honestly the secret sauce to the success we’re seeing inside the Power to Be Challenge.

And the success I experience in my own life.

I started using the MetaPWR supplementation system in the late summer, early fall of last year…

So I’ve passed the 90-day mark.

And honestly, I don’t even think anymore about dropping the MetaPWR NMN, NAD, and collagen powder into my morning glass of water.

I just do it without thinking.

And I continue to have more energy, actually feel great in my bod… 

And when I feel better in my bod, I’m more productive. More present with my fam. And I don’t snap at people like I used to.

Before I had my habits on lock, before I felt grounded and focused… you never knew what you were gonna get.

My husband, Wes, used to call me a grizzly bear.

IIIII never knew what you were gonna get. LOL

But what I DO know is there’s ZERO chance I’m ever gonna go back to how I used to be.

Where I felt stuck. With no idea where to turn or even how to get help. 

Cultivating this mindset of – “There’s always SOMETHING I can do” took a lonnnnng time to achieve.

And so I wanna remind you – making change is hard. But it’s completely doable.

Start with 21 days. Whatever you wanna accomplish. Whether it’s physical… or mental… something at work… or a goal in your personal life.

Once you nail that, keep going to 90 days. So you can build that muscle memory. Get your new habit on autopilot so it becomes more about doing instead of thinking.

AND to get there even faster and easier, get yourself an accountability partner to help you.

I’m totally down to be yours. And if you wanna fast track your health and swap stories about your health transformation… head on over to my special MetaPWR page. It’s

Or just drop me the word REVERSE on any of my social posts and I’ll shoot ya the link that way.

That’s it for me today, friends… DM me all YOUR transformation stories! And I’ll see ya online.