We all have that friend…
You know the one.
They’re always late, they cancel all the friggin’ time, and they’re not THAT apologetic about it either.
Are YOU one of those people?
Ugh. I hope not. I can't stand when people commit and then flake. I don't want to hang out with people who can't choose to honor a commitment they've made.
I don’t necessarily care what people choose to do or not do. But if someone SAYS you are going to do something…’nuff said..
What about thinking about whether or not you want to commit BEFORE you friggin’ do!
Cuz we all know what happens with friends like that…
You stop depending on them, and you start trusting them a little less.
There’s also the people who no matter what, don’t show up for themselves either.
Again, is that YOU?
Do you buy tickets to workshops, conferences or training and don’t show up?!
Do you book calls and flake out?
Do you show up your business or give an excuse why you can’t?
You don’t have to say yes to everything but if you say you’re going to do something, do it. Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.
And if you once again failed to do so, ask yourself the tough questions…
WHY are you flaking?
Do you not have the self-confidence and healthy boundaries to say NO?
Do you not know what you want to begin with?
Do you like being that kind of friend?!?
Your time matters, my time matters...we’re all “busy”. Busy is no excuse.
We all have to-do lists, people to meet, places to go.
It’s important to show up.
So, do you?
Keep your commitments. There’s a lot of benefit to simply showing up even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you’re scared, or not feeling your best, or unsure of what will happen.
If you’re one of those “people” I’m talking about, don’t worry I’m not shaming you. I want to help you.
I have a few tips and tricks to changing your commitment mindset. Here we go!
1. Don’t Over Commit
It’s time to focus on what and who matters to you.
Are you taking too much on? Feeling overwhelmed?
Figuring out your priorities is key.
Stop committing to people or projects you care nothing about.
If you don’t truly care about something, it makes it a lot harder to simply show up.
Nailing down what’s important to you will help you stick to your promises and you’ll feel less overwhelmed.
If you need help getting started, try doing a calendar audit of the last month or two.
Then make a list...with activities that lit you up in one column and activities that drained you in another column.
This will give you a clear picture of how to move forward…doing more of the things you love and less of the things you don’t. Hello train to commitment town!
2. Build trust - it’s the key to healthy relationships
When you constantly cancel meetings or appointments, it sabotages your success.
People begin to notice and to shy away.
If people can’t trust you’ll show up to a call or a meeting, how are they going to trust you with a project or other long-term opportunities?
Showing up demonstrates INTEGRITY. And that you care. About the appointment and about the other person waiting on you. That you respect other people’s time.
Showing up will not only give your colleagues, friends and clients the confidence that you’re reliable, it also build self-confidence.
None of us are perfect and I know when I’ve absolutely HAD to cancel a meeting (because of illness or a family emergency), I feel like crap.
It’s not a nice feeling and it can start to affect your own self-confidence. Which brings me to my next point….
3. Show up for yourself — that’s where It all starts
“Whatever standard you’ve set for yourself is where you’ll end up, unless you fight through your instinct and change your pattern.”
Amen, Rachel Hollis!
Honor the commitments you make to yourself.
That’s where it all begins.
Self-respect and self-love my friend.
Because if you can’t show up for your own commitments, how the heck are you going to show up for others?
You can’t give away a gift that you don’t possess.
Start holding yourself accountable and it will do wonders for your self-confidence.
If you said you were going to complete that project today, do it.
If you said you were going to go to the gym tonight, do it.
If you said you were going to teach your daughter how to pogo stick while juggling essential oils... do it. 😂
Keep that promise.
When you start showing up for yourself, it builds you up and makes you feel capable, which feels really good.
4. Be present
Let’s say you do make that 12:30 lunch meeting with a new client.
Yessss, you did it! Woohoo!
Hopefully it involves margaritas on a sunny patio…
Ok you’re there. You made it. Now it’s time to truly be there with that person, margs or not.
Being present in our daily activities goes a long way.
Eliminate distractions. Turn your cell phone off.
You’ve chosen to be there so really be there.
Practicing mindfulness will also help you keep your appointments in the first place.
Doing a simple 10-minute meditation every morning will help you declutter your mind, deal with the overwhelm and allow you to be present and show up all day erry day.
What changes are you going to make to start showing up for yourself and others? Let me know in the comments!