Your Ideal Client is REAL: 2 Strategies To Discover Who She Is

Have you ever worked super hard on a piece of content - maybe it was a podcast, a blog post, or even a social media post… you poured everything into it, got it out into the world… and it flopped? 

No downloads. No comments. No hearts. No emojis. Nada.

Or you have a really amazing promotion, and you just KNOW it’s going to be a slam dunk. So you shout it out from the virtual rooftops, anticipating the stampede of orders… only to hear crickets?


Or you came up with an idea for a free download you could whip up, or a digital mini course you could create… so you spent hours working on it.

Except when you made the announcement, it was met with silence. Waste of time.

Sometimes this kind of thing is out of our control (helloooo social media algorithm!) but other times it happens for a very specific reason:

You never vetted your idea with your ideal client/customer to see if she cared about it in the first place.


It’s a bummer to realize, but it’s true. If your ideal client or customer doesn’t need it… then why spend time on it? 

The only way to know if she needs it is to seriously be in touch with her. On the regular.

Because here’s the thing: Your ideal client or customer is a REAL person. 

Which means she has evolving needs and desires… which also means her pain points (aka, the challenges that prevent her from turning into a customer) also evolve.

And that means in order for you to stay relevant to her, you’ve got to build a biz process where you regularly revisit her needs & desires.

Or… if you’ve never actually spent time figuring out who she is, then taking the time to figure it out now can be your first step.

If either of those statements had you feeling nervous because it sounds like a daunting task… then I’ve got good news. 

I’m going to share 2 strategies you can use to help you define who she is and how in the world to connect with her. These two exercises are going to make your work one thousand times easier. #pinkypromise

Let’s get to it.

Strategy 1: Write a story about your ideal client’s life
Channel your inner NYT Bestselling author and write a little story about who your ideal client is. 

Make this fun. Set a time for 60 minutes and try to crank out a few paragraphs.

Here’s the juice you’re coming up with:
  • Where does your ideal client or customer live? Name a specific city or region - then think about the qualities of that area. What’s the weather like? Is the vibe busy or more laid back? Does this affect activities? Clothing choices?  Even food choices?

  • How old is your she? Each generation has different priorities, challenges and overwhelms.

  • Is she married? Single? Divorced? This is significant because a single mom obviously has a whole lot different needs and struggles than someone who’s married.

  • Does she have kids? If so, how many? Again, significant because parents of one child have slightly different lives than those with several. Also, new parents may have slightly crazier and more sporadic lifestyles than parents with older kids at home who can actually tie their shoes and feed themselves.

  • How does she spend her free time? Does she have hobbies or interests?

It may sound silly to think about all these details but it’s not. They do matter. Alot. Because she needs to believe you are standing in her shoes and really feel her.  

And, they help make her a real person to you.  She is no longer in your imagination.

If you aren’t clear about who she is as a person… it becomes really hard to visualize what she cares about and obviously how you can help her.

Second, these details are essential because they’ll give you ideas on ideas you can provide for her in your own content.  Things she’s searching for, and again, ways you can actually help her. 

Aka, ways you can actually introduce your offerings. Let me explain:

Say your ideal client is a 37 year old mother of two who lives in a really small city… it means she probably doesn’t have access to specialty food stores. 

Which means if you’re talking about natural living solutions, you shouldn’t write about “my top 5 things to buy at Trader Joe’s” because chances are she doesn’t have a Trader Joe’s in her area. 

Instead, you could write about “my top 5 things to buy from Amazon’s grocery store” because she does have the internet and she could order online. 

Make sense?

These details are the difference between you being relevant… and you being scrolled on past.

Strategy 2: Write a story about the challenges your ideal client or customer faces.
Once you’ve nailed the details of her backstory… the second part of this exercise is to take time to write about the challenges she faces.

And I’m not talking about the fact that she’s disappointed in how the latest episode of the This is Us went.

I’m talking a little more philosophical than that. I want you to spend a little more time thinking about the things that prevent her from becoming YOUR customer.

To get your creative juices flowing, ask yourself these questions:

  • What hopes and dreams does she have? 

  • What’s one thing she wishes she could change about her situation right now?

  • What keeps her up at night?

  • What does she worry about? 

You’re trying to get at the inner workings of her brain here.

Which means a blanket statement of “she’s overwhelmed” doesn’t work.

Newsflash: We’re all overwhelmed.  And sometimes we don’t even know what we are overwhelmed about.  

But YOU can figure it out and help her.  

Take her from the point of “Oh, I don’t want to feel like this anymore” (awareness) to “I’m ready to look at solutions to feel a whole lot better” (ready to take action).

Your client could be overwhelmed with all the daily to-dos on her plate and can’t figure out a  way to manage her time with ease.

Or maybe she’s overwhelmed because her kids are eating like crap and she knows there are better options out there but the thought of researching and learning and implementing is just too much.

Or maybe she’s sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and is fantasizing about a more natural pick me up than the triple shot mocha latte she usually grabs after drop off.  

Or maybe… she’s trying to start her own biz and it trying to figure out all the hype about Instastories and if she can use them to build her own “list” (whatever that even is).

These kinds of challenges are specific and REAL - and they actually provide a way for you to authentically talk about your product or service in a way that doesn’t make her want to run for her life.

Let’s go back to the first challenge your ideal client or customer has - she’s overwhelmed with all the to-dos on her list and can’t figure out a way to manage her time with ease.

You could create a blog post (or any cheat sheet for that matter you can share) called: 3 simple ways to clean up your calendar and be more productive.

So maybe you're talking about prioritizing and calendar blocking, but maybe…. you’re also suggesting that seriously bomb essential oil you sell that will help her focus like the badass babe she’s trying to unleash in herself.

See the connection here?


You’ve got this.  

Your next step is to figure out who the heck she is and how you can be her biggest supporter and cheerleader.  

And BONUS - I’ve got a download for ya that’s gonna help you work it all out in that pretty head of yours.  

It’s an Ideal Client Worksheet which has a ton of prompts to walk you through writing your ideal client’s or customer’s backstory (aka, the work in strategy 1). 

Stay relevant, my friends.


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