What Tony Soprano Taught Me…

I am not sure how or why The Sopranos was on our Television the other evening as we don’t really watch the show and it is pretty old in any case. Of course I have seen it in the past so I know some of the main folks in the show, but it was just a little too violent for me. In any case, I grab the control to find something better…like recorded Bachelorette episodes – sorry but I can’t help myself with that show. While I am busy searching through the channels, we have a little preview screen that continues to play the channel that was on the TV.Soprano So Tony Soprano’s wife is busy chatting to her daughter following the death of one of their friends. To make her daughter aware of the sudden loss in life and friction with her own family, she quotes their Father (Tony). “You should spend more time with the people you love the most.” To be honest that statement really hit me hard. You know those times when something so simple that you may have heard many times before suddenly resonates with you? Well this was one of those moments, which got me right in the gut and actually made me pretty emotional. I am lucky enough to have created a life where I work from home and get to spend a lot of time with my daughter. Even though people see me as a successful business women, what they don’t see is that I still like to do the Mommy stuff too and it is not all work and no play. Often people ask me how do I manage to keep working so hard and then they are shocked to find out how little I actually spend working at my job. I do as many Mommy things as I can. I am able to drive my daughter to school each day, pick her up and take her to her after school activities. We book play dates together, we vacuum the house together (ok sometimes it is a struggle to get her to help me), we go shopping together, we bake and make cool clean juices and smoothies, and the regular arts and crafts and whatever else.

However lately I have also been focusing on a few extra projects which are pretty exciting for me. And one of the dangers of working from home is we sometimes take our time for granted. We are “there” with our child, but not really “there”.

What I mean by that, is that our body is there but our mind is somewhere else. I am sure you know exactly what I mean. We’re not being present and focusing all our energy into our child, as we are busy thinking about work, holidays, the house, friends or in my case the new launch I was working on. It is so easy to just sit on the sofa, grab the lap top and do some research while your kid is playing right next to you, or making a phone call in the car instead of having a good heart to heart ten minute chat with your kid. It is these small things that really are big moments for the child. The same applies to your partner. My husband and I both work from home but sometimes we are like passing ships in the night, because we are so focused on our work. And to be honest I was pretty guilty of this and was so focused on work and my own interests that I wasn’t present enough for him. So we had our moments as you may have read in previous articles, but then we both had to re-focus and really be “there”. Become more present and aware of each other, our needs, our worries, our problems and of our love. That has made a positive difference in our relationship and has also helped me spend even more quality time in with my daughter. It is not that I am spending more time with them, it is just the time we do all spend together is better quality.

That’s the magic behind being fully present.

So instead of just being “there”, make sure you really are “there” in that moment. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

And don’t thank me for this, thank Tony Soprano! XO Hayley Image courtesy of - Everett Collection /

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