Ditch Perfectionism: How to Tap into YOUR Authenticity

If I were to ask you what the most important thing about your biz is, what would you say?

Maybe consistency? Having a great product or service?

Being visible on social media? 

Posting multiple times every week?

Well, that IS important. But not the MOST important thing.

What I’m talking about is a bit more foundational.

The most important thing about your presence online (or on social media) is your authenticity.

As in, are you authentically showing up?

Are you telling the truth?Or are you putting on a show? Because you THINK that’s what sells online?

Well, my friends, I’m here to tell ya… you being YOU is what sells online.

And yet when it comes down to it, most of us don’t know ourselves as well as we probably should.

For example, if I were to ask you what your core value and beliefs are, would you be able to rattle off a list from the top of your head?

Most people would full on deliver deer in headlights.

And that’s ok – as much as we think about ourselves – which BTW is 95% of the time, according to research. 

No joke. Kinda embarrassing when ya think about it, LOL.

So anyway, as much as we think about ourselves, we don’t really think or focus DEEPLY about ourselves… unless we’re asked to.

I discovered this the hard way. For realz, I don’t even want you to look at the first few years of my social media accounts and what I was posting about because I. Did. Not. Get. This. at the time.

And once I DID get this, and use the tool I’m offering you today, that’s when my visibility and follower counts jumped. 

And not just jumped with bots and randos. But high quality community members who are still with me today.

So before we get more into this whole authenticity thing – and what it actually means – lemme tell ya more about this handy guide I have for ya.

It’s called the Build Your Own Biz Online guide.

And if you’ve got an online biz… or even an offline one… and you’re noticing drop-offs or plateaus in your biz…

This guide will help you revamp your approach. And if you don’t have an approach yet, great. It will help you create one.

You’ll start by getting intentional. When you think about your long-term goals for your biz and your life, what does that look like?

From there, you define your values and beliefs. WHO are you? What do YOU care about? WHY do you care?

These are critical to helping you get clear on who you want to help in your biz. AKA define your ideal client and create a detailed profile of them. Trust me, it’s actually super fun!

You’ll even explore what your offer should be. And how to communicate allll this to that ideal person you mapped out.

This guide walks you step by step through this. One simple exercise at a time. And with all this in hand, it will help you streamline your efforts. And ultimately connect better with your community.

SO that they feel like they know you. And you, them. And they trust that you understand them. Get them. Have their backs. And best interests at heart. Are invested in making a difference for them. 

Which means they ultimately buy from you. 

And, which as we all know is how you grow and scale your biz over the long term.

Get your hands on your copy of this guide – which I normally offer for $79 – but I’m gifting it to you FREE for a limited time by going to

Or commenting the word BIZ on any of my social channels.

Why am I gifting this when it’s so high value?Because right now I feel like we all need a break. 

It feels like there’s soooo much uncertainty in the world right now, especially in the economy and in business… and I see people trying to fake their way to success.

Or just continuing to employ efforts which are no longer working. Or maybe were never working. 

Like thinking more perfect Instagram posts is going to improve sales. Or increase their follower count.

Or copying a competitor’s hashtags is going to have them finally catch up. 

Or signing up for a bunch of free programs to hear from quote unquote “gurus” and trying to just do what they did to grow THEIR business.

But the truth is, the world has changed.

And it’s still changing rapidly.

And authenticity matters more than all the tactics out there.

Here’s a silly example if you’re into pop culture.

If you know anything about the Kardashian crew, then you know they are NOTORIOUS for photoshop fails on their instagram accounts.

Seriously, like slimming their body parts with filters and apps. 

I actually saw one pic where whichever one of them it was – Khloe maybe? – had like 12-inch long fingers at the end of it.

Total photoshop fail. Unless claws are the latest body modification we all need to get in line for. LOL

Point being, clearly fake. Clearly inauthentic.

And you know what happens every time this gets caught?

They get dragggggggged by their fans and in the media for it.

Now, I’m not saying it’s hurting their business really. Clearly they’re doing just fine LOL

But the perception of them is that they’re fake.

And a certain percentage of the population is fine with that – will still spend money with them. I don’t get it…

But I think you're more like me….

Like you want to connect authentically with the audience you’ve built or are in the process of building. 

You want a  business built on relatability. Real connection.

You're  a heart-centered leader who got into your biz to genuinely help people. 

And if you’re nodding your head along with me as I say this, then you probably want to connect authentically, right? 

But if you aren’t clear on who you are – your vision, your values, and your beliefs – knowing exactly HOW to show up authentically (and consistently) can be a challenge.

The other part of the equation is being BRAVE enough to put the real you out there.

To share your story. Messy parts and all.

Here I’ll give you an example.

A few months ago I got up on stage – in front of hundreds of people – and admitted that my marriage was a friggin mess.

For years, I stood on that stage, presenting at the same conference each year, and feeling like a fraud.

Meaning, I knew people were looking at me and were thinking I had all my shit together.  But I didn’t. 

So, I was actually lying. Because I wasn’t being authentic.

I had a ton of shit going on in my life on the daily, yet every day all I did was post the pretty things I thought would inspire people.

So it looked like things were perfect.

Working out at the gym. Eating healthy foods. Glossy photos with my fam.

I chose to focus on those things because they felt safer.

Now, I’m not one of those people who goes around bitching about her life all the time, playing victim – or vaguebooking when something is bothering me.

But at a deep level, I was choosing to slap on a veneer. While underneath my energy was NOT there.

And one day, it all came crashing in on me.

My husband and I decided that it was time for an intervention. And for us, traditional has never worked.

So instead of going to therapy… AGAIN…. We chose something a little different.

A leadership training. So we could begin to communicate with each other better. Be leaders in our own lives AND in our family.

And what I did was realize that inspiring people meant being real.

Telling the truth.

So that’s what I did. I literally got on that stage and told thousands of people the truth.

You guys, this was literally a COMPANY EVENT.

The company I’ve worked with for nearly a decade.

I got up there and I put my mess on a platter for them.

Not because I wanted pity or empathy. But because I knew that if I wanted to connect, I needed to drop the armor and be real.

So for 15 - 20 minutes on stage, I shared my story.

Messy tears and all. Yeah, even the snot. Which old me would have been super embarrassed and ashamed about.

And you know what happened?I got a standing ovation.

And afterwards, dozens of people – mostly women – came up to me with tears in their eyes too and shared their hearts with me as well.

And you know what? That felt GOOD.

That felt REAL.

But up until I got up on that stage, I was filled with fear. Straight up terror.

Now, I’m not saying you have to share your deepest, darkest secrets in your business. Depending upon what your biz is, it may not be important or even relevant to your biz.

Like, if you’re a cheese shop, maybe you don’t need to share how your pregnancy has given you wrinkles and cellulite, LOL…

But if you’re in the fitness industry. Or have a personal brand like I do, and you know that honestly will resonate with your community… maybe you could open up about that. 

Not try to be so perfect all the time. Because no one is. And in fact – it will probably HELP your biz. 

If you approach it from the perspective of being authentic and relatable.

Here’s the thing… no one you see “winning” has never “lost.”  Every single one of us have been in a zillion shit shows.  

Honestly, for me, they happen almost daily. The only difference between me and you is that I choose to manage the breakdowns. And turn them into breakthroughs.  Rather than curl up on the floor in the fetal position and completely shut down.

I’m intentional about the way I want to show up. Live my life.  

Intentionality is such a clutch piece of success. And most of us don’t even think about that. 

We think TACTICS. 

We think STRATEGY.

But your intention behind those tactics and strategies are really what make the difference.

Here’s another example from my biz.

You know I’m a vegan, right?I choose this for health reasons. Because my body isn’t like most people’s.

For reals, my intestines are actually on the wrong side of my body. And wrapped up in knots. I was born that way.

So when I eat certain foods… or don’t give my gut a chance to rest (which is why I intermittent fast)… it causes me actual pain.

TMI? Probably.

But it’s the truth.

But even with all that, does that mean I’m perfect? Or I eat clean 24/7?

I mean, yeah, I’ll sneak in a gluten free, vegan donut. Or the fries from Plant Burger every now and then. 

And yeah, I’m a sucker for a spicy cacao latte. 

And I’ll mix up foods the rest of my family thinks are disgusting, like plantain chips with ranch seasoning. 

Hey, I’m human.

I like things most women my age would be embarrassed to admit liking.

Like K-pop. And Justin Bieber. And Harry Styles.

But what I’ve realized is… when I post about those things… when I authentically share my interests…

I create insiders and outsiders.

Insiders are the people who get me. Who like me for who I am and resonate with me. 

Outsiders are everyone else.

If someone chooses to unfollow me… or unsubscribe from my email list because they don’t like what I have to share. Or they don’t resonate with me.

That’s OK.

And I feel like many other business owners fear that.

And they will literally make themselves smaller… try to shape themselves into a box they don’t belong in to please everyone.

Actually, that reminds of me a song lyric I just love. It goes, “I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in.”

That’s Fall Out Boy. Yep. Another group most people would roll their eyes hearing me quote.

Look, at least it’s not Nickelback. LOL

I kid, I kid, Nickelback fans. Put down the cabbage and tomatoes. LOL

Point being, what ends up happening when you try to be perfect. When you try to please everyone and be FOR everyone is… you don’t end up connecting with anyone.

You slide into the middle, the no-mans land of business. 

Playing it safe and being disconnected is never gonna make you successful.

You only need to find YOUR people. Resonate and connect with THEM to create a thriving biz. 

When you create insiders and outsiders, you create PASSION.

You create a certain group of people who say HELL YES… instead of MEH, I guess.

Don’t you want to be a person who inspires a HELL YES?

And don’t you want a community of people around you who are all HELL YES? Totally in with you on your mission and your vision?

That’s what you get to do when you put yourself out there… share your mess… share your heart. Be real. Share your passion. Share who you are and what you care about.

Don’t aim for the middle, my friends.

And as I said, sometimes knowing what you DO care about… and knowing what will inspire the HELL YESes from others… is confusing. Or overwhelming. Or provokes doubt.

That’s why I’m here to help you. And why the guide I mentioned to you earlier is so powerful.

It’s yours. And it’s free.  

When you download it you’ll be guided through a series of questions and exercises that will help you clarify what these are for you. 

SO that you can figure out who you are and what your message gets to be in order to inspire others.

And then you’ll be shown how to take these core values, beliefs, and convictions – and turn them into content that connects.

From an authentic space.

Now, the courage? I wish I could bottle that up and give it to you in a downloadable PDF too.

But that comes from you.

However, I DO hope that my story of getting on stage and publicly sharing the most vulnerable, raw part of my life – and the positive reaction it got – inspires you to be a little braver yourself.

Like I said, was I super pumped to get up there and open myself up like that? Was I stoked to do it?

Not really. I was scared every second until I did it. Actually, I was scared while I was doing it.

And then I felt powerful. I felt I was living my truth. And yes, even though I was scared as hell, I did it anyway.

It’s always a choice.

How do you get over a fear? Do something that’s scary.

How do you get over panic? Do something that makes you panic.

How do you get over insecurity? Put yourself in a position where you feel insecure.

It always works.

And now, today… I’m a little braver.

Those moments when I catch myself slipping into scarcity mindset… or allowing fear to try to take the wheel… or trying to cover things up. Make things nice and keep it surface level… I remind myself of that moment.

Of how I did something that scared the bejesus out of me. And I was ok.

Or I just think of something else I’m afraid to do. Maybe it’s having a conversation I want to have with someone I don’t experience is really hearing me. Or getting me. 

And I’ve been feeling shut out. Disconnected. And then I go have that conversation anyway.

I decide to do it anyway. Because it’s a choice.

It actually strengthens relationships. And creates super strong, deeply real new ones.

So my friends, I hope you realize you get to have these moments in your life too.

My story may not be your story. But you DO have a story. 

And the world – or at least a subset of it – needs to hear it. Wants to hear it.

So if you want to learn how to do it yourself, feel free to download my Build Your Own Biz Online guide FREE while you can… at

Or by commenting the word BIZ (B - I - Z) on my social media… 

It will help you define what your own business looks like. From who YOU are and what YOU have to say… to a complete profile of the exact person you want to work with. As well as your intentions and desires in creating your own business. Not to mention, the exact product, service, or offer you’re going to put out into the world.

I can’t decide these things for you. You get to decide them for yourself. Which is what makes this guide so, so powerful. It’s literally the most foundational guide you can ask for. And it’s yours – FREE – right now.

So make sure you get a copy of the exercises and techniques to help you get more connected to others.  And tell YOUR story. 

In a way that makes you feel empowered and strong and real and, like I said, CONNECTED.

And when you do put yourself out there, hit me up @hayleyhobson and show me. I’d love to see it and be part of your inner circle.

Until then… I’ll see ya online, my friends.